New Year, New Ease: Self-Love Tips for Resilience & Joy
To me, one of the most attractive aspects of Ayurveda is that it works on the subtle layers of existence, as well as the gross. It understands that the energy of our emotions can shift our cells into harmonious or diseased states. It sees how the care given to a plant or animal prior to consumption can make it more or less nutritious. And it knows that our internal narrative and our relationship to ourselves can make or break our wellness.
The traditional three pillars of health, as defined by this science, are diet (ahara), sleep (nidra), and vital energy (brahmacharya). The ways in which to maintain and modulate these aspects in many ways is straightforward. Eat doshically and seasonally appropriate foods, get enough restful and rejuvenating sleep every night, and be wise about how you share and use your life force (prana). However, through my lessons from pioneers in the fields of Ayurveda and western allopathic medicine, there is a common thread that is disrupting all three aspects in disproportionate doses: stress.
We all experience it - some is good and necessary, while some is downright destructive and often avoidable. However, at it’s worst or over continual periods, it is a grand antagonist to not just our physical bodies, but to our dreams, plans, resolutions, goals, commitments, and aspirations. It pulls us off our axis, then misdirects our intentions and energy. So, in the name of regulating what we can, should we have the courage to do so, where do we start? I believe it is within.
Ojas is the nectar of life. It’s the loving balm that heals the wounds from our head to our toes, inside and out. This is something we get from loving relationships, from eating pranic rich foods like ghee and dates, from being in Nature. It’s also something we can cultivate though loving ourselves sweetly every day. So, I invite you to meditate this new year on these simple suggestions of how you can incorporate a little more ojas into your precious life. It will become the resilient armor with which you adorn yourself to move with more ease towards the joy of your life.
Reframe Your Self Talk
Speak to yourself like you would your best friend. Remember that the relationship you have with yourself is the longest and most intimate one you’ll ever have.
Find new and more appropriate ways of saying ‘I'm sorry’. There’s a psychological impact of those words that connotes and enforces feelings of being ‘bad’ or doing things ‘wrong’ all the time. We’re human and we make mistakes, and we owe it to ourselves to be kind to our missteps. As well, often those words don’t properly convey what we need to say. Be intentional about what you want to communicate.
I apologize…
Pardon me…
Excuse me…
Please forgive me…
Prioritize Your Rest
Allow yourself to take breaks when you’ve been pushing hard. A 30 minute lunch away from the task at hand can infuse so much fresh energy into your endeavors and spirit.
Set night time wind down reminders so you can get your required sleep for the day.
Schedule downtime for yourself throughout the week. It’s not only self care, but also a way to balance the pitta nature of culture that prevents burnout.
Allow Yourself to Celebrate
Often we’re too quick to say ‘yey!’ and move on to the next thing. Take a moment to stop and acknowledge the milestones that reflect back the progress you’ve made. Be it a small win at work, a breakthrough with your kid, or a job well done on a personal project, remember that these are the moments we truly live for.
Take Your Time
We can be so set on the brilliant outcome we have envisioned for ourselves that we forget that progress is a process. Just like the poppy seed that you plant in the early spring takes its time to bloom, so do our dreams. Go easy and enjoy finding each right next step as it comes, because it will. Enjoy the process of becoming…of blooming.
Release Comparisons
Some of the best advice I got early on was that ‘there will always be someone more (fill in the blank) and someone less (fill in the blank), so focus on you.’ Compete with yourself and let your growth and contentment be the determining factor of success.
Create Joyful Rituals
Rituals can come in all durations and forms. From your elaborate weekly goddess self care ritual to a walk around the block, a morning cup of (hot beverage here), a moment of prayer before getting out of bed, preparing a meal for your family. Anything you do routinely is a ritual. All you have to do is imbue it with thoughtful intention and love to fill your heart’s cup.
Give Yourself Permission to Say No
More often than not, it’s the things we eliminate from our lives, rather than add in, that provide the most immediate and impactful benefit. Listen to your intuition, your heart, your energy reserves and when you’re feeling that pull or push away from your center, consider saying ‘not today’, ‘can we reschedule?’, or ‘I’d rather not’. These healthy boundaries may feel like an edge at first, but will soon become a trusted tool for your care.